beats per me

Archive for March, 2011

Hideaki Akaiwa is Top Dog! FOX “News” still peeing on the carpet

My my how the world can change in just a blink of an eye. Two weeks ago, I was pissed off that Ellie Goulding’s suits slapped me with a DMCA notice and therefore JanKenBPM was suspended. Lame. Now, Ellie who? I’ve found myself writing more about current events in Japan than about music. In my last post I had to let a little steam off and got some flak for it. I figured the ones who cried the loudest were fecks themselves. Me? Venomous? Never!

Anywho, like the attention span of a pekingese the media has now turned it’s attention to Libya, and Elizabeth Taylor (R.I.P beautiful). I guess they kinda got the hint that people were sick of the fear-mongering as they tucked their tails between their legs and whimpered “Radioactive Spinach?”

No, bad doggy. Bad! You would have to eat copious amounts in a year which would be equivalent to a CT scan.

“Nuclear Milk?”

Right, that’s it, Snoopy House now!!

I quite like the idea that this Japanese restaurant in Taiwan came up with allowing customers to use a Geiger counter to scan their food for radiation (*rolling eyes), and bravo to the ever so eloquent Charlie Brooker for berating the news networks. If you haven’t seen it it yet, watch now before Channel 4 gets it removed:

“This is really scary, I’m sorry I’m kinda emotional, I gotta go.” If seeing a few waves gets you so upset, woman you are pathetic. Thanks for the laugh.

Also to add my 2 cents, Half a dollar, too many tweets make a twat! You make Chris Brown look like a bra-burning feminist. Please disappear into oblivion with Ja Rule.

Now on to more positive things, Hideaki Akaiwa has got to be the most inspiring superhero on earth right now. Dude braved the tsunami in scuba gear to rescue his wife and later his mother, and apparently is still venturing out to this day looking for survivors. Not even John McClane or MacGyver could hold a candle to him. You sir, are a real life action hero and we all salute you. You can read a more colourful description of his story at Badassoftheweek.

Also, it’s notable to mention the Yakuza (Japanese Mafia) who went into action “opening their offices to those stranded in Tokyo, and shipping food, water, and blankets to the devastated areas in two-ton trucks and whatever vehicles they could get moving.” It’s comforting to know that the worst of times can bring out the best in people (even if they are considered the worst of people). Did that make sense? Some have speculated that it’s all part of  boosting their image, P.R if you like, but who cares? A big nod of approval to you kind-even-though-tatooed-and-scary- Sirs!

I have yet to come up with some songs that would be appropriate to add to my posts from here on, but am stumped. How about we end with Louis Armstrong singing (*while I exit stage left)? x

Feckless f*cks and the Fukushima 50

I’ve been wanting to post about the tragedy that hit Japan on March 11th beginning with the 9.0 earthquake that struck in the North that sent ripples through the rest of the island and the devastating tsunami that claimed so many lives. I’m angry, more like an uncontrollable rage that I can’t bottle in anymore.

Those feckless f*cks (hereinafter referred to as fecks) such as the overseas news networks who, like a pack of jackals frothing at the mouth, instead of reporting the true misfortune of events in Sendai and the surrounding areas decided that it wasn’t as newsworthy as “TOTAL NUCLEAR MELTDOWN!” You irresponsible twats who would rather keep people in fear to boost your viewership ratings and to sell papers! It was almost as if you wanted things to get worse. One report even went as far as to say that Japan could be wiped off the face of the earth. FOX “news” even used the above picture showing a nuclear plant being housed in a Japanese nightclub (Shibuya Eggman). Eggman even posted on their website “Shibuya Eggman has no nuclear plant, Our electricity’s powered only by music.”

I learned more from this Japanese video made to explain to kids what was happening than the speculative drivel you tout as information.

And you, fat cat foreign bankers who without a moment’s hesitation shelled out thousands of dollars (up to $265,000 one way) to charter private jets out of Tokyo forgetting about how good this country has been to your pockets. I don’t even need to break down how much aid that money could bring. These same bankers who not long ago sent the economy into a downward spiral only to be bailed out later by their governments. The Tokyo Stock Exchange (TSE) had to ban brokers from selling stocks for their own arbitrage trading. You fecks.

And you douches who use this opportunity to still harp on about “Japan killed my grandfather so this is karma”, you immature fecks. You forget about Hiroshima and Nagasaki, retaliation that no other country I can think of could pick itself up and carry on. You selfish brats who cry “Where is the money my government wants to use to aid Japan coming from? Not my taxes?” You would be the first begging for aid from other countries if the tables were turned, and trust me Japan would be right there to help.

All in all, I count myself and many others here in Tokyo as very lucky. We have nothing to complain about. Yeah, supermarkets and conbenis were literally empty as people panicked and stocked up like crazy and don’t get me started on this drama queen who could just do us all a favour and be deported. So what if there’s no milk, those cows up north could use a break too. I made a joke there, but not to take away from what’s really going on in Sendai, Fukushima, Iwate, Ibaraki, those are the people who really need us. The Fukushima 50 who are working non stop to keep us all safe, let us not forget them and their families. My fear/sadness/anger has now rightly returned to reflection and JanKenBPM salutes you brave souls!

If you’re not one of those fecks and want to know how you can help Japan, don’t just click “like” on one of those Facebook groups or say “Oh, let us pray for Japan”, do something:

If in Japan:

  • Groupon, they will give two times the money you send, maximum 10.000 ¥ each time
  • Here you can find various options

If you are outside Japan:


Also a friend sent me a link that has many more ways to give Too Much Magazine.

There are so many ways to give your support ❤

Bitchin’ Rock Stars from Mars… ie. a rock star, a bitch and a nutter

With all the media frenzy surrounding these men and their huge egos, it had me thinking “What songs would I use to describe them?”

Charlie is one helluva drug. “If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. Too much?” I’m not a “Two and a Half Men” fan but I can’t get me enough of Charlie Sheen. At first I thought he was a complete narcissist, but now I really am believin’ he’s the ultimate bitchin’ rock star from Mars. Love him or hate him, dude is Legen…wait for it…

Lady Sovereign – Love Me or Hate Me (Botox Bad Beats Remix) ☆☆

FUKKK OFFF – Love Me Hate Kiss Me Kill Me ☆☆☆

The Sounds – No One Sleeps When I’m Awake (La Dolce Vita Remix)


Galliano, Galliano what a pickle you’ve gotten yourself into. I’m sure we all saw the vid and were shocked by his remarks but I saw a sad, drunk, old man on the verge of catatonia. Hopefully rehab will help him “to address the personal failure which led to these circumstances.”

Jamie Foxx – Blame It (On the Alcohol) -FnDannyBoy Remix

What, too soon?

And lastly, Gaddafi, I have nothing to say except that you must be nucking futs. Did y’all see him with that white umbrella?

Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden -Bonkers (Mark Lam remix)

Here are a few other songs thrown in for good measure:
Rihanna vs. Iron Maiden – Fear of The Rockstar 101 (DJs From Mars Remix)

Voltronixx – Quit your bitchin (Bazuco Remix)

Any closing words Charlie?

“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars. … You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

Couldn’t have said it any better myself x